My Strange Little Lobster

*cough* excuse the teenage and soppy nature of this blog post....

So the handsome beast that is trying to eat me in the rather stunning photo to the left is my slave, sorry i mean boyfriend.Only joking our relationship is totally equal and we do just the same amount for each other, or at least that is what he thinks ;) 

Honestly in all seriousness he is probably one of the most important people in my life right now. Not only has he stuck around through my strange and rather mental ramblings he also helped me through one of the worst experiences in my life which was good for me but probably terrifying for him. About 4 months in to our relationship i was ridiculously ill right in the middle of both of our exam seasons and almost kind of died... yeah but that is another blog post for another time.

What's so amazing about this boy then that my silly little teenage mind felt like typing up this futile blog post?

He is possibly the nerdiest person i have ever met and makes me feel like i can like anything (especially K-pop, because well K-pop is awesome), he puts up with all of my nonsense and isn't afraid to tell me i'm being ridiculous, he makes the effort and most of is the most wonderful human being. Okay i admit i may not be the most enthralling person to be in a relationship with but just the fact he picked me keeps me smiling every day.

i will probably look back this someday and turn to my husband and say:
"aww look at me with my ex-boyfriend" ;) 
only joking Jamie, <3 font="font" nbsp="nbsp">

Back to school

I realise that i have been rather distant but there aren't any of you here anyway....

So today marked an exciting and rather petrifying stage in my school career; I started Sixth Form. Yes that means i have the stress and pressure of completing AS and hopefully A levels, whilst trying to maintain my social life and love life along the way.

The first challenge came when i had to not only drag myself but also my boyfriend out of bed. However i skipped out the door filled with great expectations and a stomach full of butterflies.Throughout the day i felt like i was surrounded by stereotypical "teacher parrots" all filled with hubris as they declared that we all needed to "Hit the ground running". Despite the anticipation and irritation of starting a new (rather pivotal) school year the day went off without a hitch and after while it just felt like another average school day, resulting in me dragging my feet home, collapsing on my sofa and vegging out by watching T.V.

Although the initial excitement is still there and i will still find joy in taking a new leap in my school set-up, i realise that i will hit the earth in a few days, the school work will pile up and a stressed Elly will emerge. So i guess i should treasure my adrenaline rush and hope for the best in my two last years of school. Well before Uni anyway.

Letters in my phone

The written word is more powerful than anything and fortunately my friends and family know this too well. In order to fully communicate with me you have to write things down due to the fact my attention span is about 3 seconds. This has lead to a minuscule revolution in my phone case. Currently there are 5 notes in the back of my phone from friends and family. it is a simple idea but it is effective. They cheer me up and surprise me because i never know they are there until i stumble upon them. (even if it means my phone case often topples off)

Age defines us...

Age plays such a big part in the drama we call life. Every year we get older until we are so old that we stop living. But between your birth and your death, there is a void that gets clogged up with memories. Memories of family, bonfire nights, rows, birthdays, love, hate and pointless facts. There is a point in your life where your age becomes significant. 10 double figures. 16 legal for, well we all know what. 17 you can get your provisional. 18 legally able to buy alcohol and cigarettes, leave school and generally start being treated like an adult. But what about before and after these significant turns of age? Well we are left drifting aimlessly trying to figure out what we can and can't do. and it is awful. Nearly 16 and all i can think about is exams let alone my social life....
My heads a mess and i am yearning to get to 16 just so i feel like me again.

Gossip

It's strange how quickly gossip can spread. One minute a secret can be shared between two people, and the next it's news to ever one's ears. it can bring joy but it can also break up relationships and perceptions. I dislike the fact that people feel that words don't hurt because the fact of the matter is they do, even more so than physical pain. Words stick in the mind they are etched in your memory like a ticker tape that runs around and around. The slightest thing can trigger your memory and cause to the regress to a time or place. They can cause pain, hurt and joy.

Emotions are a key part of life. call me old fashioned but i much prefer happiness to sorrow. Remember secrets are secrets and just because someone tells you something, doesn't make it yours.

I got opinions

How much can other peoples views affect yours?

For most of my life other people views and opinions has directly affected mine. It could just be my age but i think that how people view me is very important. For example with boyfriends i often make a snap judgement about my relationship based on other people's comments. It's all very vein, i know but i can't control it. it feels as if i have a psychological need to please everyone but myself.

How to be an explorer....

Whenever i see a puddle being played in or a child looking tryingly at a twig or leaf, i wish i could see the world through the eyes of a 4 year old. To a four year old the world is such an amazing spectacle and everything is simply marvelous.

When you are bogged down in exams it's easy to lose perspective. I have found myself recently having to walk in the rain just to remember that the world still goes on no matter how we are feeling. It's easy to forget this when you are 15 years old and often let your emotions take you over in a split second. I know that it's easy to say all of this and completely forget it the next, but i think it's important to take a breath every now and again just to look at a leaf and wonder what sort of journey it has come along, or pick up a snail and wonder what it has seen.

just remember you are not the only thing in this world, and everyone has felt how you feel at some point.